The #US #NationalParkService is probably the only state institution I have a "net" sympathy for (I still remember their defiant resistance against Trump).

Today FB (otherwise being a coprodump) brought such a nice thing:

Dearest gentle readers,
Whilst the enchantment of nature's magnificence is indisputable, one must not overlook the necessity of prudent planning and safety precautions to ensure a delightful and unblemished park vacation.
As you prepare your trunks and bonnets for a grand park tour, do not neglect the essentials: sunscreen to shield your delicate face from the sun's harsh rays, insect repellent to ward off any tiny winged creatures, and a sturdy pair of trusted footwear to traverse the terrain with robust determination.
Let us also remember proper hydration and sustenance. A hamper brimming with delightful provisions and a flask of refreshment (water) will undoubtedly enhance any outdoor pursuits. Oh, dear, behold, a cheeky squirrel, with eyes full of mischief and a belly full of ambition, doth declare itself the rightful heir to our pretzels that are making us thirsty!
No pretzel for you! Speaking of wildlife, let us refrain from challenging the creatures that inhabit these parks. If not our friend, why are they friend shaped? An oft pondered question, but we digress. Do not endeavor to befriend a bear or partake in frivolous games with bison. It will most assuredly result in the bruising of your dignity, along with your back, head, and in all likelihood, every other major limb.
Therefore, as you embark upon your park holiday, remember to tread lightly, adhere to the designated pathways, eschew the temptation of indulging in idle gossip and reviews (share them here instead), and above all….Why that rebellious squirrel hath returned and is deftly grasping at the quill-
<Three hours later…>
We hath wrestled back thine pen and will close with a message of encouragement to savor every moment of your adventure. Blast and confound it all! It appears we are about to be besieged by a horde of furry squirrels! Think kindly of us and wish us swift deliverance from this most unexpected turn.
Yours forever,

Image: National park volunteers in early 19th century dress at Fort McHenry National Monument & Historic Shrine, MD