Dear Everybody:
The big news today is not Trump’s Trumpapalooza, though Trump did his best to make it that by offering to bribe people to vote (about which more later), but then reality intruded in the form of that pesky Iran war:
–The US attacked five Iranian tankers after Iran targeted a Navy warship. In retaliation, Iran attacked a US Air Force base in Jordan.
–In the attack, Iran damaged 9 American planes, including one USA-10C Thunderbolt, which lost a wing, and 8 F-15 fighter jets, resulting in losses of half a billion dollars.
–American forces launched 30 Patriot missiles in the defense of the base. (30 Patriot missiles which are getting in ever shorter supply.)
But that’s not the bad news. The bad news is:
–Yemen’s Houthis have seized Yemen’s port city of Mokha and are now marching on the Bab-el-Mandeb Strait, which is only 50 miles away.
–The Bab-el-Mandeb Strait is the strait that countries have been using as a shipping alternative since the Strait of Hormuz has been closed by the Iranians and a major oil trade chokepoint. The two straits together account for one-third of all shipping in the world.
–This means the Houthis are inching closer to controlling the entirety of Yemen’s west coast along the Red Sea, a critical shipping waterway.
–The Guardian: “Seizure of the coast would be a strategic disaster for Saudi Arabia and the United States, taking Iran and its proxies closer to full control of two chokepoints for western shipping on opposite sides of the Arabian peninsula.”
–Tommy Vietor: “This is very bad for Trump’s war with Iran because the Iran-based Houthi rebels can more easily threaten ships in the Red Sea and potentially choke off more Saudi oil experts. It could also restart the catastrophic Saudi-Houthi war. Bad bad bad.” (Note: It also places many more targets within range of medium-range missiles.)
And in even worse news (if that’s possible):
–The Wall Street Journal reported that Rubio and others “have discussed with the President that Tehran could continue to resist US pressure under the blockade and other military tactics, potentially extending the conflict PAST INAUGURATION DAY in January 2029.”
–Their headline read, “Trump’s Top Advisors Confront Possibility that Iran War Lasts Through End of Term.”
–Meanwhile, Trump told reporters yesterday, “This war will end immediately after our election.”
The big news from Trump’s midterm convention last night was that he intends to bribe people to vote for Republicans:
–Trump: “If Republicans win the House of Representatives and the US Senate, I will issue a dividend to every adult citizen in the United States for $5000…We’re making a fortune. So if the Republicans win, you win with us and you get $5000. It will be called the Trump Dividend. Congratulations!”
–Trump can’t actually do this. Congress would have to vote to approve it, and it would result in ANOTHER $1.3 trillion dollars in debt. AND it violates 18 USC 600, a law forbidding criminally promising government benefits as a reward for supporting a political party: :”Offering money, gifts, or any expenditure to influence a vote is a federal crime.”
–Political scientist Danny Krakorian: “Trump explicitly tied a massive cash benefit to Republican electoral victory…Trump’s wording pushes unusually close to the conceptual boundary of vote buying.”
–Mona Burns: “An outright bribe, punishable by fine or imprisonment.”
–Chuck Schumer: “Trump’s presidency is so failed and broken, he is resorting to trying to bribe the American people.”
–Even Fox thought it was a bribe. Brett Baier: “$5000 for every adult citizen. $1.3 trillion dollars. The critics will say the President is bribing voters and he’s bankrupting the economy.”
–AJ Bouteiller: “Come for the cult catchphrases, stay for the bribery?”
–Ron Filipkowski: “Trump promised $5000 stimulus checks from DOGE. You got zero. Trump promised $2000 stimulus checks from tariffs. You got zero. Trump promised $1000 checks from Obamacare cuts. You got zero. Trump promised $1.98 gas. You got $4.00+ gas. Trump now has more promises for you.”
–Varda Star-Kindler: “If he actually followed through with these payments, it would nearly double the national debt.”
–Jessica Reidl: “The claim that the federal budget is so overrun with surplus cash that Washington can afford to spend $1.3 trillion dollars on ‘rebates’ is so detached from reality that I refuse to waste my time walking through the math.”
–Robert Reich: “Aren’t folks still waiting for the DOGE checks?”
–eXtina: We can afford $5000 for everyone (a trillion dollars), including those who don’t need it, but we can’t afford Medicare or child care.”
–Robin Snyder: “The GOP decides, screw it, let’s just bribe voters.”
–Seth Abramson: “Deliberately cratering the American economy–costing American families well over $5000 each–and then promising to pay those families back $5000, but ONLY IF they keep letting him abuse them for two more years…is some SERIOUSLY dark, domestic-abuser shit.”
JD Vance is already trying to walk the bribe back:
–He said that rich people wouldn’t get it and it would be paid for by all the profits from Trump’s tariffs, even though there aren’t any. Vance: “Tariffs have generated a lot of revenue. The President is saying, ‘if you keep us in power, then you will share in some of the benefits of the incredible wealth that we are creating.’” (It won’t actually be a CHECK…)
–And even Fox is asking why Trump doesn’t send out the checks right now.
In other Trumpapalooza news:
–Trump spoke for one hour and 47 minutes. He covered the ballroom, renaming Lake Ontario, renaming New Mexico, renaming the Strait of Hormuz, renaming the oceans, the SAVE Act, his Great Healthcare Plan, passing a No Invasion of Our Country Act, how the Democrats want to forcibly transition your kids, how he won the 2020 election, and how gas prices were going to tumble down down immediately after the election, and how packed the arena was. (Note: It wasn’t.)
–Speaker of the House Mike Johnson gave an interview to Newsmax while standing in the arena: “Yeah, it’s full. I’m looking around. I think every seat all the way to the rafters is full, and there was a long line of people still trying to wait to get in.” As he spoke the Newsmax cameraman zoomed in on empty seats in the lower tier, a mostly empty middle tier, and a completely empty top tier.
–Trump: “This place is packed…Some people are not coming because we don’t have room.”
–Also Trump: “The Republican Midterm Convention last night in Dallas was a major sold-out hit, far bigger, better, and more important than anyone thought possible. It was really something, streaming all over the place and really big numbers, despite going up against the NFL. The overall numbers beat the NFL. The Arena, which was really nice, beat its own attendance records. The place was packed.”
–Trump: “I didn’t need to be here tonight. I could’ve been in a nice place somewhere in the world.”
–In a “dramatic escalation in Fetterman’s growing estrangement from his party,” Senator John Fetterman did a taped video message to the convention, pledging to work with Trump.
–Trump’s Secretary of Agriculture Brooke Rollins spoke to say how great it was that the FDA and Trump’s administration had removed all regulations on everything. (Can you say listeria E-coli? Cyclosporiasis?)
–Rollins, making a very peculiar argument: “There is more beef being consumed today than ever before. The price remains where it is, but people keep buying it. Normally you have a price go up and demand goes down, but it’s the opposite. $6.50 for a pound of ground beef, which is less than a latte from Starbucks, feeds a family of four.”
–Senate candidate Ken Paxton: “(Talarico) wants to transition your kids.”
–Norm Ornstein: “Pedophile protector speaks.” (He’s speaking not only about Trump and the whole Epstein class but about a pedophile Paxton pardoned.)
–Senator Tim Scott: “Democrats want to rip our hearts out of our chests.” Also “We are talking about JeEeEezUs!!!!!”
–Rep Tom Emmer threw up his right hand in a Nazi salute that was copied by the audience.
–Housing and Urban Development Secretary Scott Turner smacked the rear end of MAGA Rep Anna Paulina Luna as she walked onstage.
–Fox News aired its show, “The Five,” instead of the second hour of the convention.
–At one point they put random Texas residents on the stage because they didn’t have anybody else to speak.
–An “L” fell off the “Dallas” sign on the podium during one of the speeches.
–For some unknown reason, they showed a photo on the Jumbotron of Hasan Piker, one of their most targeted ideological foes, in his jockey shorts with the jockey shorts blurred out.
–Joe Flood: “What demographic are they going after?”
–Philippe Lemoine: “Things are getting weird in Dallas.”
–They’re still frantically spinning. Like right-winger Nick Adams: “NFL execs are PANICKING. An all-hands-on-deck PR meeting has been called. The GOP Midterm convention is set to WRECK the NFl’s Wednesday/Thursday opener TV ratings. President Trump and JD Vance are more popular than the Seahawks, Patriots, 49ers, and Rams combined!” (In your dreams.)
–Mike Johnson claimed the football games were all streamed and behind a paywall, so they wouldn’t draw any audience. (The games were on network TV.)
–Grinder, the gay dating app, crashed in Dallas.
The reviews were…umm…less than stellar:
–Rick Wilson: “Last night was a hot mess.”
–Robin Snyder: “Trumpapalooza, as expected, is an extravaganza of batshittery with a motley assortment of Cabinet bootlickers and elected officials taking turns slurping Trump, telling outrageous lies, and issuing dire warnings of the apocalypse that would result if Republicans lose power.”
—The Thinking Class: “Trumpapalooza went from $20,000 to free–and Americans still said no. Nothing expresses the humiliation quite like the price collapse. How in hell do you go from $20,000 to free? That is not a markdown. That is a cry for help with a promotional code attached.”
–Chair of the Texas Democratic Party Kendall Scudder: “Closing comment for me would just be the ramblings of an old man in a half-empty auditorium changed the minds of zero people.”
In economic news:
–Oil prices are officially up +50% since July 2.
–Gasbuddy data shows that prices for diesel at five gas stations in California have maxed out at $9.999 per gallon, the biggest price the pumps can handle. (Nobody knows what happens now.)
–Missing the Point: “Everything you want will magically happen the day after the elections.”
–Newsnation: “Why should we believe that now all of the sudden prices will come down after the election?” Secretary of the Small Business Administration Kelly Loeffler: “We’ve done it before and he’ll do it again. The Biden administration…” Newsnation: “Why do you guys keep talking about the Biden administration?”
–Energy Secretary Chris Wright: “Nobody loves low gas prices more than President Trump!”
In Reflecting Pool news:
–The Pool is still a mess. This week there were storms in Washington, DC, which blew the black tarps down and exposed the pool. It looks like an open sewer.
–Trump has hired yet another contractor to repair the repairs.
–Jeannine Pirro held a press conference to talk about the dangers of crypto fraud, and all the reporters wanted to talk about was the Reflecting Pool. She threw a fit: “No! I said no! And no! Who wants to know about this? How many times do I have to say no! I am not talking about that!”
In Tate Brothers news:
–The judge denied bail to the Tate brothers, ruling that they are a flight risk and have to remain in jail until their extradition.
–The UK has until September 16 to submit their full extradition request.
–And so far there hasn’t been a peep out of the Trump administration, or out of Don, Jr. or Barron, who were supposed to be such good buddies. (The Tates are now learning the hard way that loyalty with the Trumps only goes one way.)
–MuellerSheWrote: “BREAKING: After the Tate brothers’ lawyer had to expose their wealth as a fake to prove they’re not a flight risk, a federal judge has DENIED their release pending extradition anyhow. So now we know they’re fake rich and they have to stay in jail anyhow.”
In Germany news:
–Germany’s neo-Nazi right wing AfD party won a regional election this week, and Trump leaped to applaud the win.
–Trump: “Wow! The Populist Party in Germany just had a really big night. They finally got tired of the absolutely horrible immigration rules and regulations which have hurt Germany so badly. THEY ARE ON THE RISE, and not going to take it anymore! MAKE GERMANY GREAT AGAIN!!! President Donald J. Trump.”
–Will Stancil: “A journalist absolutely needs to ask Trump the precise period in history in which he believes Germany was great.”
–Janet Johnson: “Celebrating the election of Neo-Nazis in Germany is quite a choice.”
–Olufemi O Taiwo: “Applying “Make Blank Great Again’ to Germany really does kind of give the game away.”
In Ukraine/Russia news:
–Ukraine attacked two natural gas plants in the Arctic, 1800 miles away from Ukraine. (Russia’s plants in these areas often have no defenses at all because it was assumed they were out of reach.)
–Russian refining capacity is now down 43%.
–Russian attacks in Ukraine are often not supported with armored vehicles because they don’t have any diesel.
–A high-ranking police colonel, Sergei Shalginov, fell out of a ninth-floor window the day after he resigned.
In other news:
–The Missouri Supreme Court ordered Republican Secretary of State Denny Hoskins to appear in person Thursday and explain why he should not be held in contempt for allegedly violating the court’s injunction blocking Trump-backed congressional maps.
–Trump gave Natalie Harp a $45,000 cash Christmas present, which is completely illegal. Elected officials are not allowed to be given money in addition to their salaries. He gave the same amount to two other personal aides.
–Trump put up an arcade game called “Build the Wall,” which was exactly like Tetris. Tetris sued, and Trump had to take the game down.
–The White House has banned Crown Royal, Canadian Club, and all other Canadian whiskeys and scotches.
In good news:
–Canada’s liberals swept three special elections on Monday, giving Prime Minister Carney even more of a mandate to fight back against Trump’s tariffs.
–The Supreme Court left the block on Missouri’s Republican gerrymander in place.
–The Girl Scouts have added two new cookies to their annual cookie drive this year–a cookie for dogs called Patch Pets and an allergy-friendly cookie called Sparkables. Sparkablews have no peanuts, shellfish, tree nuts, eggs, wheat, milk, soy, fish, or sesame in them.
Best photo of the day, a Northern yellow-shafted flicker in flight:
Best satire of the day, from Andy Borowitz: “Mark Carney offers America $6000 to vote against Republicans.”
Best comment of the day from Luke Skywalker (aka Mark Hamill): “Desperate Donnie’s panicky plan to bribe voters is not only highly illegal, it’s also incredibly expensive ($1.3 trillion dollars with a T) and really REALLY dumb (with a B.) He knows accountability is coming on 11-3-26. Tick tick tick.”
Keep calm and carry on,
Connie Willis
